literature

Dear No One: Hatred

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Literature Text

Dear No One,


     Hey, again it's me. I'm writing, once more, because I can't get these feelings to go away. It's extremely irritating and I hate you for it.

     In fact, I hate everything about you. I hate your hair. Those dark, slightly curled locks. I hate how it fell into your eyes and I hate it more because I found myself only wanting to see them more. I hate how you brushed your hands so easily through that hair. And I hate that, when you knew I was looking, you'd move your hands through your hair even more slowly. I hated how that hair used to brush against my face every time you rested on me. I hate the softness of it and I hate that I can't run my fingers through it any longer. I hate that I miss it so much, that I miss you so much. I hate you.

     I hate your eyes. Those bright, ice blue eyes that bore into mine with that intensity. I hate the way it made me melt. I hate how, even though they were like dry ice to everyone else, when they met mine, they suddenly got warm. I hate how they kept me looking, how I needed to feel your eyes on me. I hated them. I hated how they followed my every movement and actually softened when I looked back. I hate how they saw right into me. I hate how they saw what I was trying to hide so easily. And I hated it so much if anyone ever made those eyes falter. I hated them when they looked filled with anguish if you saw the same sadness in me. I hate how I can't look into your beautiful eyes any more. I hate it…I hate you.

     And I hate that smile. Your smile. I hate the way it curved ever so slightly to give hint that you knew you were winning the argument. I hate that you have the greatest smile in the world. I hate the sarcastic-ness of that smile. I hate the way it could change from mischievous to adorable in a matter of seconds. I hate that every time you kissed me, I could feel that smile forming. And I hate that even when I knew something had hurt you, you'd put on that smile anyway and say, "No, I've got you, and you're all I need to be happy". And I hate seeing that smile when it changes to something with your pain hidden behind it. I hate how you say you never smiled before me and I hate how I made that smile disappear that way. I hate that I can't even see that smile light up your face anymore. I hate it. I hate you.

     I hate how you knew everything about me. I hate that you knew when I was sad, that you were able to read me so easily. I hate that you always knew what to say and how you made me feel better. I hate how we could exchange a simple glance and know exactly what each other were thinking. I hate how you understood that I couldn't trust you before because I needed time. I hate how you didn't mind waiting for me. I hate how you wasted your time on me. I hate how you proved me wrong. God, I hate it so much. I hate you.

     I hate absolutely everything. I hate your scent. That Dark Temptations Axe that made me completely collapse into your arms. I hate how safe I felt in your arms. I hate how wonderful you made me felt. And I hate you way. I hate your personality. I hate your sarcasm. I hate your laugh; how it surrounded me so easily. I hate it. I hate everything. So much. I just hate you.

     And lastly, I hate how I don't hate you. I hate how it's not even close. I hate that I don't hate you at all. I hate that I miss you so incredibly much. I hate I can't talk to you. And I hate how I know you deserve so much better than me but I still want you. I hate that I still want you. I hate how I don't get to be near you; that I can't feel your hand on the small of my back. I hate how you're not in my bubble; that you're nowhere near me. I hate how I can't just lay next to you. I hate how I can't bury myself in your neck. I hate how I had to let you go. I hate that I'm so weak. I hate how I let two guys break me down and take advantage of me. I hate how they ruined everything so I couldn't trust you. I hate how I'm so terrified that you're going to hurt me that I ran away. I hate how I lied to you. I hate how I still cry and get nightmares about everything. I hate how no one can see the tears I'm hiding and I hate how you're not here to tell me everything's going to be ok.

     I hate how I miss you. And I hate how I fell for you. I hate myself for everything. I don't hate you. I hate me. I hate me so, incredibly much. I know I don't deserve you, it's ok. I know this is going to pain me for awhile. But as long as you're happy, none of that matters. All I want is for you to smile again. That's all I want, even if it's not at me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I hate it. I miss you…and…I don't hate you. At all. And I never will.



~Alyvia Connors
Well...another one of my rant letters...my goal is to write 100 of them, each with a dif topic. Just bear with me ~watchers, Im sorry heh...if you have any questions, just ask.

Written by me (c) :iconsukitora242:

Written to the song -> [link]

Thanks again *weak smile*

(Edit) Here's the first letter -> [link]
© 2010 - 2024 sukitora242
Comments8
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tobilvr13's avatar
...who are you writing about? it's pretty but--